100 Classes in 100 Days?

Most people aren't workout badasses. This is true. Most people struggle to get in some exercise. Most people seem to need more motivation to workout... not less. Modern life lends itself to sedentariness. Is that a word? Well. It is now.

However, there is this trend in the workout world--push yourself. Hard. Daily.

Much of it comes from nauseating 'fitspo.' If you don't know what that is, don't look it up. I'll tell you--it's almost always an image of a muscular, lean and scantily-clad woman with some ridiculous caption like 'pain is weakness leaving your body' or some other such nonsense.

If you read my blog, you know I'm a fan of that burning, shaking feeling you get in a good barre class. It's true that strength building requires at least some degree of discomfort.

But you know what? Strength building also requires something else: REST.

That's when your muscles repair. It's when you rest. You need rest. I'm writing this from my couch. I'm wearing my warm, fuzzy blue robe. I didn't go to the barre today. Or yesterday. I have a head cold and a wonky shoulder.

I was tempted to hit the barre this morning. I'm doing a monthly unlimited at a local studio. It's tempting to go as often as possible to get my money's worth! And I love the barre! But not today. I 'late canceled'. That means I didn't cancel early enough so I lose the class. And I'm ok with that, because today, rest is more important. But that can be a hard call for some people to make, including me.

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A few months ago, I saw a shout-out on Facebook from one of the barre brands I follow. Someone at a distant studio had completed 100 classes in 100 days.

Wow.

On one hand, wow! That takes a lot of diligence. And time.

But on the other hand, wow... that's over three months without a single rest day.

Fast forward another couple of months, and I'm attending a class at a studio affiliated with this brand, and I meet a sweet 25-year-old who saw the same Facebook shout-out. She has decided to try to do the same--100 classes in 100 days.

I'm trying really hard not to be her mother. She has one, and it isn't me. So I ask questions... why do you want to do this? Do you have any injuries? Are you sure this is a good idea? She tells me she just wants to see if she can do it. She says she's young. She 'should' be able to do it.

I try so hard not to give her advice. I try to be cool. But I can't help myself. "Don't get too hung up on the goal," I say. "Listen to your body," I say. "Don't push yourself everyday. Some days, just focus on the stretching," I say. I can't help myself.

I see her a few weeks later. I ask how it's going. She says she's so sore, but she's on track to complete 100 in 100. She says she lives in a state of soreness. But it's 'a good sore', she says.

And a few weeks after that, I see a post on Facebook. She's done it--100 classes in 100 days.

I'm noticing it's becoming a thing. 100 classes in 100 days. Posts are popping up from time to time. And the comments are all 'WOW!' 'You're amazing!!' 'Way to go!!!'

I don't know these women. They're all really proud of themselves, and the brand is over the moon! 100 classes in 100 days!

I struggled with writing this. Exercise can be so empowering, and I don't want to take anything away from these women who set a goal and reached it. But it makes me uncomfortable. Not so much that these women killed it. Like I said, I don't know them. This may have been a fine goal for them, safely accomplished, but I'm uneasy that it's institutionally celebrated. Is 100 classes in 100 days really better than 100 classes in, say, 114 days?

I don't think so.

A Tale of Two Sugar Detoxes

As some of you may recall, earlier this year I did a sugar detox. (It was the best of times. It was the worst of times, etc.) I followed Australian journalist Sarah Wilson's book I Quit Sugar. I don't think I adequately recapped my experience here on the blog, but over on Facebook I've discussed it with several people.

I found the experience to be very positive. I really felt like I had come to a good place with sweets--and this was a beautiful thing. I felt like an addict who had finally reached a sobriety goal. Like I should have gotten a medal. Yay!

But like any addict will tell you, there can be relapses. I found, little by little, that I was dipping back into the chocolate chip bag. I hit rock bottom yesterday when we finally got around to celebrating Darling Son #2's third birthday. Despite having already resolved to detox, I had cake. And not just one civilized piece sitting around convivially at the table. There was a rather unsavory amount of clandestine schnarfing (yes, this is a word) in the kitchen as I was 'cleaning up.'

So I'm declaring to the world that I'm off sugar. This time, I'll try Diane Sanfilippo's 21 Day Sugar Detox instead of going through I Quit Sugar again.

To explain, I'm going to pretend I'm being interviewed by some hard-hitting journalist (HHJ.) Here we go!

HHJ: So, Stephanie, tell us about your sugar addiction.

Me: Oh, HHJ, I'm so glad you asked. I really do struggle with a sugar addiction. It's terrible. It's like sugar is a bad boyfriend--all sweet and lovely in the beginning, but in the end leaves you sobbing on the floor after cleaning out your bank account. Sugar is bad news, but I've always loved it. I do tend to be pretty picky about my sugar. I've never been one for hard candy or gummy worms, but give me the right mix of creamy, sweet yumminess and I'm hopeless. Cake, brownies, ice cream... I just can't have it in the house.

HHJ: How is The 21 Day Sugar Detox different from I Quit Sugar?

Me: I Quit Sugar (henceforth IQS) deals pretty much exclusively with fructose, which I've discussed in an earlier post (see here.) Fructose is the sugar found in fruit, which gives it a healthy-sounding glow to many, but when isolated from it's fruity packaging, is anything but good for you. It's also a component of other types of sugars, like sucrose (table sugar), high-fructose corn syrup, agave syrup, honey, maple syrup and, well, most other sweeteners. IQS completely prohibits fructose or anything containing it, including fruit, for a couple of weeks. You can eat pretty much anything else, like bread, pasta, etc. on IQS, but you will find eliminating fructose will naturally limit your options.

The 21 Day Sugar Detox (21DSD), on the other hand, allows for limited consumption of not-very-sweet fruits like green-tipped bananas, green apples and grapefruit, but restricts overall carbohydrates, which your body basically reads just like sugar.

I think both give pretty similar nutrition advice, but they differ on ideal sweeteners. IQS recommends fructose-free brown rice syrup to sweeten your occasional treats, while Diane's sweetener of choice is raw honey. (I should mention, neither recommend sweets very often, but when you do enjoy a treat, they'll use different sweeteners. And while there are sweet recipes in IQS, there are only non-sweet treats in 21DSD.)

In short, I'd say Diane is generally less hung-up on fructose, and looks more at the overall sugar/carb consumption.

HHJ: Why are you doing 21DSD this time around?

Me: I found I was relying too much on carbs for my fix when I did IQS. I recall sort of transferring my sweet addiction to Ezekiel bread and noodles.

HHJ: So would you not recommend IQS?

Me: Well, HHJ, I'm so glad you asked. Really. You're a great interviewer. You're asking all the questions I had hoped to answer. It's like we're of one mind.

Anyway, I wouldn't not recommend it. In fact, I'd say it depends on the individual. If someone is presently sucking down Cokes and hoovering Krispy Kremes on a daily basis, I'd say start with IQS. The program is a little simpler.

The 21DSD is a little more involved. There are three levels you can do. Level 1 allows for limited grains and dairy, level 2 is no grains but allows for dairy, and level 3 is full throttle squeaky paleo. She also makes recommendations for various health conditions, pregnancy, fitness badasses, etc.

But there is also more hand-holding--Diane provides full menu plans and recipes, or you can just follow a yes/no foods list. IQS gives you some recipes, but no menu. You have to pay for the full online 8-week Program for that.

HHJ: So let's talk about the cash. I know you're painfully cheap. How do these program stack-up, value-wise?

Me: Both come in two formats: online or hard-copy books, which I love since I'm old enough to remember life before the internet. I prefer a real book that I can hold in my hands.

As for the online options, IQS is an 8-week program. I believe the online plan costs $150AUD, which is about $130USD, though I'm not exactly sure since they're not very forthcoming about the cost, which annoys me to no end. Why is it so difficult to find out the price? Seriously? I'm sure they'd tell me if I were willing to provide my name, rank and serial number, but I'm not interested in getting scads of emails, so I found the $150AUD on Sarah Wilson's site. But really--what's with the secrecy? That annoyed me.

I do have a reader in Australia who is doing the IQS 8-Week online program. Hopefully she'll chime in with her thoughts.

The 21DSD online program can be accessed at various subscription levels, the priciest being $97, which also includes copies of the 21DSD books. There is the print program book and also another cookbook. And props to the 21DSD for making it's pricing far easier to find.

So from what I can tell, 21DSD seems to be a better value. It's also a shorter program, though, so I suppose IQS fans might take umbrage with my assessment. In fairness, I've never done either of the online programs.

HHJ: So you're doing the 21DSD book?

Me: Yes, and I just have the program book, not the cookbook. I'd say the program book is very complete. And that's one of the things I really like about it. There are a number of free companion resources available on the website, too. Printable PDFs and other links to support you as you navigate your break-up with Bad Boyfriend Sugar.

HHJ: Well, I really should be going as I have to prepare for interviewing Edward Snowden or some other Very Newsworthy Person. But I will be following your sugar detox with great interest!

Me: Why, thank you, HHJ! So wonderful to have met such a fabulous interviewer. I'll be sure to keep you posted with my progress.

Well, that was thrill. Can you imagine such a hard-hitting journalist would want to interview little me? Wow!

So I'm on day 1...ish of 21DSD. I actually started Sunday but then there was the whole cake debacle yesterday. But I'm not going down the path of self-loathing... I'm going to pick myself up, dust myself off and move on. No self-loathing! That's on the 'no' list.

Follow me on Instagram (@momsatthebarre) or Twitter (@stephaniehsiang) for more tweets and non-sweet treats on the 21DSD! Yay!

Why 'All About the Bass' is 'Rude'

Recently a CD got stuck in the player in our car. On a longish trip. Oh dear. Music is very important on road trips with small children. You can have only so much meaningful conversation with a 6 and 3 year old before someone starts melting down. You need music.

So we were left with the radio. News is out. It's not long before there is a story on Jerry Sandusky or some other horrible thing that we don't want to discuss with small people. You need music. And so, our children were exposed to Meghan Trainor.

allaccess.com

If you're not familiar with Meghan, she is the artist behind the hit song All About the Bass. From the moment the small people heard it, they loved it. *LOVED IT.* And I can dig it, it's a fun song with a good beat. If you don't have small people around, have a listen--with lyrics:


At first, I kind of liked it, too. I listened to some of the words and I was heartened. Trainor speaks of appreciating your body: 'every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top.' She also slams the all-too-common practice of photo-shopping images, which we've talked about before. Well, that's just great. I love that.

Then it goes downhill. She sings:  "My Momma said don't worry about your size/boys they like a little more booty to hold at night."

What?! Since when is 'what boys like' the goal of any teachable moment? I'm tempted to shout to the backseat--"you boys better not be holding onto anyone's booty!" But I think better of it. The last thing they need is another word for 'bottom.'

There is further talk of 'skinny bitches' and I'm ready to change the station, but there is mutiny in the backseat. The only reason I consent to letting the song play out is that the small people never get the lyrics right. "I'm bringing booty back" comes out as "I'm eating fruity crack."

We dodged a bullet on that one.

Next on the list is Rude, a story of a man going to ask for the hand of his beloved. The father totally shuts him down and he defiantly claims he's going to 'marry her anyway.'

I tell Darling Son #1, "I don't like this song."

"Why not, Mommy?"

I begin ranting thus:

"Well, it's about a man going to ask the woman's daddy if he can have his blessing to marry her. And that's a very nice way to honor the daddy. But the daddy says, 'no,' and I don't think it's very wise to say he's going to marry her anyway. I mean, she's a grown woman and can make her own decision, but let me tell you, son, that's not a good way to start off on the right foot with your in-laws."

Did I mention he's six? Well, you can never start too young.

"You know, Daddy went to talk to Nana and Grandpa before he asked me to marry him and if Grandpa had said, 'no way,' Daddy would have rationally ascertained Grandpa's objections and addressed them until Nana and Grandpa were on board with the whole thing. That's because Daddy is respectful and isn't just going to railroad Grandpa. That's why they get along to this day and we can all eat Thanksgiving dinner together in peace and harmony."

I look back in the rear view mirror and DS1 is giving me a blank stare. "Umm. Mommy? Can I just listen to the song."

Oh. Ok. I'll comfort myself with some fruity crack.

A few days later, the Darling Husband comes home from work and says, "I heard that song the boys like on the radio. The All About the Bass song. It's horrible." I KNOW! And so after dinner, the DH fixed the CD player and we're back to listening to Thomas the Tank Engine songs in the car.

Pass the fruity crack.

My Life as a Vegetarian

I used to be a vegetarian. I started dabbling in it when I was in high school, and then got really into in college. I even lived in a vegetarian cooperative house my senior year. That was actually a very funny experience. I was a semi-practicing Christian. I wore leather shoes and I only dated men. Let's just say I wasn't exactly in the majority. I loved what one of my housemates said to me--'It's great that you're here, Stephanie. You make us diverse!'

I still laugh out loud when I think of that.

The terms of the co-op were pretty simple. We didn't eat meat. The year I lived there, however, there was a omnivore among us.

Gasp!

She signed on to the co-op because she wanted to save money. Indeed, the co-op was cheap and chipper. We paid $300 a semester for food, which was waaaayyy cheaper than the college food plan. We did all our own planning, shopping and cooking. We belonged to an area food share and supplemented that with weekly trips to the market. It came out in our first house meeting that Cavegirl ate meat. She said, "Wait a minute--you're vegetarians??!"

"Why yes, Cavegirl, we are. You didn't know this??"

"NO! I'm just here to save a buck! You mean I can't eat meat here?"

And so we gathered together and decided Cavegirl could eat meat if she was willing to cloister herself in her room. Occasionally she would exercise this option. The smell of burger take-out would waft it's way up the stairs and into her room. We'd all cluck with disapproval, but man... it smelled good.

Honestly, we were tempted to chuck Cavegirl out onto the street. One of my housemates said, 'there are vegans starving in the college houses and Cavegirl is taking up a coveted spot in the Veg house?!' (Side note: we don't call them 'dorms' at Smith.) We were filled with righteous indignation. But no, we didn't kick Cavegirl out. The semester was already underway. Where would she go? No. She had to stay. We were compassionate. We were vegetarians.

We had a chore wheel and worked with partners. Somehow I got stuck with Cavegirl. She was actually kind of a fun person, but a really bad work partner. Cavegirl was very flaky. Obviously. How did she not know we were a vegetarian co-op? We were hardly secretive about it. By the way, we didn't call her 'Cavegirl.' We called her by her name, but I can't remember it now.

Anyway, every week you and your partner had a job--shopping, breakfast, making dinner, doing dinner dishes, that sort of thing. Dinner dishes was generally regarded as the worst job and you were really psyched when your washing week was up. I mentioned this to one of my housemates as she was slaving over our big, industrial sink. She said, "Oh yes, but it's so much better here than my work-study job in the college house--having to wash up after those yucky meaty dinners!"

Meals could include eggs or dairy, but if you used them, you had to provide a vegan alternative. So we made tempeh and used soy cheese. You want to talk about yucky? Soy cheese. YUCK. This is where I formed my opinion that if you can't eat the real thing, don't bother trying to come up with a substitute. Just find something else to eat.

Even with the soy cheese, I am really thankful for my experience in the veg house. I learned a lot about cooking and budgeting and how bad I was at resolving conflict. Like many young people with high ideals, I was positively nauseating to be around during this season of my life. I'm kind of shocked when I think back that some of the people who knew me then have stuck with me and actually read my blog. (Hi Tracy! Hi Dad!)

After I graduated, I kept up the veg thing. I moved to New York City where I subsisted on a minuscule paycheck. The vegetarian cookbooks I collected at the veg house came in handy--I lived on the carrot soup from the Moosewood Cookbook until payday--33 cents a serving with carrots from the corner bodega!

The vestiges of my veg days... and I still use them!

But the veg thing started to fall away little by little. You see, it was like a religion. We had creeds and dogma and moral outrage... and that no longer seemed relevant as I started loving Jesus more and more. Sweet Jesus, who cuts through dogma and moral outrage with grace and mercy. Jesus, who freed us from the laws, dietary and otherwise. Jesus, who, like an animal, gave His life so we could live.

Jesus wouldn't have kicked Cavegirl out onto the street. He also wouldn't have talked smack about her behind her back. But I don't look at Jesus as a role model. I look to Him for forgiveness--Oh Sweet Jesus, forgive my hypocrisy and nastiness to Cavegirl... and he gives it. He gives it freely, from his abundant stores of mercy. And he remembers Cavegirl's name... whatever it was...

I moved on to Scotland. It's easy to be a veg in Britain. All those Hindu immigrants, and let's face it--the food's not that good anyway.

It's the French who got me to throw off vegetarianism for good. Oh the French. They seriously do not understand why someone will not eat something that is just... yummy. 'Comment? Tu ne veux pas la belle viande?! POURQUOI?!?' I no longer had a good answer for why I didn't want the beautiful meat. So I ate la belle viande....

And I eat it still.

Shocking News about Stretching!

I like to arrive a little early to the barre. If I'm flying in at the last minute, it stresses me out and I fear stress might inhibit my lovely post-class lala feeling. I don't like to do anything that might jeopardize the lalas. But then, of course, I'm just kind of hanging out... waiting for class to start... so historically, I've stretched to pass those few minutes, thinking I was doing something oh-so-beneficial for my body.

Lots of people stretch before exercise. When I first started formal exercise back in the early 1990's, you did a little warm-up, then you stretched. It was the done thing. By 'warm-up,' I mean a little bit of movement, and by 'stretching,' I mean the static kind--you assume a position (like bending to touch your toes) and hold there for 20-30 seconds. Stretching cold muscles was always a no-no, but since I'm usually moving quite briskly so I can get to class EARLY, I consider myself 'warm.' Yes, I play the hurry-up-and-wait game.

However, I recently read a few articles casting aspersions on this sacred cow of pre-workout stretching.

memecruch.com

Well. This rocked my world. Clearly. So I did a little exhaustive internet research^tm.

I'm a huge fan of stretching and there are some very good reasons for it--maybe the best one being the Dr. Wayne Westcott study that indicated people see 20% greater strength gains for having stretched muscles after working them.

But that's post-workout stretching, which is a different animal from the I'm-just-hanging-out-early-at-the-barre kind. A few studies (here and here) have indicated that pre-workout or -competition stretching actually resulted in reduced performance. Athletes who stretched beforehand showed a temporary decrease in strength. The whys of this aren't really known, but study authors suggest the loosening nature of stretching made the athletes wobblier. That's a totally official scientific term, by the way.

It should be noted that holding stretches for more than 45 seconds is what seemed to inhibit strength--anything less than that didn't seem to affect it significantly.

There is a fair bit of conjecture about stretching in general. It is kind of toughie to research. As noted in one article I read, you can hardly do a randomized/double-blind study on stretching. People will figure out if they're in the stretching group or not, you know? I found some articles (like this one) that seemed to suggest stretching at any point in a workout might be of little benefit, but I can't get behind that. Stretching does restore optimal length to muscle, if only temporarily. The jury seems to be out as to whether or not it reduces delayed-onset muscle soreness or helps prevent injury, but it certainly feels good and helps with lalas. I should mention that no barre class I have ever taken has employed long-duration static stretching as part of the warm-up. The stretches always follow working the muscle to shaking, burning bliss.

So should you completely avoid the pre-workout stretch? From the former study, "We conclude that the usage of SS [static stretching] as the sole activity during warm-up routine should generally be avoided."

Well, harumph. I guess this leaves me with taking selfies to fill the time.

Real Food: It's What's for Lunch

One day last year I forgot to pack a lunch for Darling Son #1. Did I mention it was his birthday? Oh yes. Mother of the Year!

The really sad thing is I didn't even notice I had forgotten. It wasn't until I picked him up at the end of the day, all aflutter to hear how his birthday at school went, that he blurted out, "It was great! You didn't give me a lunch so I got pizza and chocolate milk!"

Apparently they let you buy on credit if you don't have a lunch. So I paid $3 for the pizza and chocolate milk plus a $2 service fee and had to endure pleading for several months hence for a reprisal of the pizza and chocolate milk. From then on, I redoubled my efforts to a.) pack a tasty, healthy lunch and b.) not forget to send it to school.

The Not-so-skinny on School Lunches

School lunches are notoriously lamentable. The I Quit Sugar website recently rated American school lunches as 'the worst in the world.' Apparently things like tomato paste on pizza are classified as vegetables, along with french fries. The First Lady's efforts to improve things have just resulted in smaller portions, not better food.

Now, you know I'm not totally down on french fries or chocolate milk. I've blogged about both (chocolate milk here and fries here.) But these are sometimes foods. Certainly not something I want my kids eating everyday.

Not to mention the cost--$3 is alarmingly cheap, but still, the bill for two kids to eat pizza and chocolate milk everyday would run us close to $1000 over the course of the school year. I'm certain I can beat that with better quality, homemade food.

I also pack lunch and breakfast for the Darling Husband. So we have quite a packing operation here in the mornings. Here's how it goes:

Gather the Supplies

I spent this summer researching the vessels into which I would pour out my mother/wife love in food. Wow. There are a lot of options, but I became quite specific with my requirements. I needed:

• Insulated bags for everyone.

• Glass dishes for the DH, so he could heat things up in the office microwave.

• Unbreakable containers and wide-mouth thermoses for keeping hot foods warm for the small people.

• Some sort of alternative to the hundreds of plastic baggies I contributed to landfills last year. 

I read some bad things about plastic. Apparently plastic will kill us all, but I was unsatisfied with some of the other options, so I bought a variety of BPA-free plastic containers.

These Pyrex glass containers for DH:

And these stainless-steel thermoses for the small people:

One of my favorite purchases is this fabulous ice-pack bag!

I send DH's food in this everyday. It has ice-pack stuff IN the bag! Brilliant! He brings it home every evening, folds it up...

and pops it in the freezer.

Then we just fill it up in the morning. I'm in love with this bag. Not like I love DH, but you know, the way you love a lunch bag.

Sometimes I send a salad, too. I found this container:

It has an ice pack and salad dressing holder in the lid:

ETA: The DH doesn't love the salad container. It is a little flimsy, and he says the ice pack makes the dressing so cold it becomes somewhat congealed. So, FYI.

All the above items were deals. Most I bought at TJMaxx. You can find them at places like The Container Store, but I'd encourage you to shop around.

The only somewhat pricey things I bought were DS1's lunch bag. We went to LLBean because I expect him to use it for the rest of his life.

And I found a very interesting product called Lunchskins:

These are reusable sandwich/snack bags. They function like plastic baggies, but you can wash them out and reuse them. (I also wash out plastic bags and reuse them, but Lunchskins are very durable and can be reused many more times.) You can even put them in the dishwasher. You can't do that with a plastic bag.

Everything about Lunchskins appeals to me except the price. I spent close to $30 on four bags (two large sandwich-size and two smaller snack-size.) I could buy a lot of plastic baggies for that, but I like the concept of Lunchskins. They had good reviews and so far, we're happy with them.

What do I pack in all these delightful vessels?

Leftovers. I've taken to doubling or tripling my dinner recipes and I send everyone off with the leftovers.

For DH's breakfasts, I'll send egg casseroles or quiche, or just regular food. He doesn't have any hang-ups about consecrated breakfast foods. Sometimes I'll make a batch of steel-cut oatmeal and/or a couple hard-boiled eggs and a piece of fruit.

The small people need both a snack and lunch, so it's leftovers for lunch and some combination of carrot sticks, cheese or fruit for snack.

Gucamole, peach cobbler, carrots, cheese and leftover-I-don't-even-remember-what

And water. Always water.

If you're looking for more ideas, check out 100 Days of Real Food. Blogger Lisa Leake specializes in school lunches.

How I Make it Easy on Myself

I pack what I can the night before. As I'm putting away food after dinner, I just put everything in the individual containers then. The kids stuff has to be reheated in the morning and put in the thermoses, but that's about as tough as it gets.

I set it all up assmebly-line style and just pop everything into the bags.

Lastly--no one gets a choice. I take preferences into consideration, but I never say, "So, little Darlings, what would you like for lunch today?" I might offer a choice between leftover option one or two, but that's about it. You get what you get and you don't get upset.

So that's it--that's what's for lunch. DS1's birthday is coming up and he's angling for pizza and chocolate milk. Should I relent? Make it a birthday treat? I'm open to suggestions...

Ten Tips for Your First Trip to the Barre

The main reason I started A Mom Walks into a Barre was to share my love for this most wonderful and effective form of exercise. For me, barre is the workout holy grail, and I love it when readers tell me they're getting into it, too. Yay! Love to share the barre love!

Sometimes people send me messages along the lines of 'I'm going to my first class and I'm terrified.' Oh dear. Let's not quite think of it that way. It's your first trip to the barre! Have someone take a picture. What a rite of passage! You'll never forget it.

But I can relate to the terrified. I remember my first class... A beginner level with Ashley Yeater at Physique 57 in New York. Even though I had been doing barre videos for months and months, I was still, honestly, kind of scared. What were they going to do to me? How badly was this going to hurt? Were they all going to be total babes? It sort of felt like my first day of middle school.

And I was afraid I might look a little like Lucy:

But it was OK. I did fine, and so will you. Here are a few tips for newbies:

1. Dress the part.

PLEASE NOTE: This does NOT mean you need to spend two month's salary at Lululemon. Yes, barre tends to cater to an upscale crowd and that will be reflected in workout wear, but you can absolutely get by with something from the clearance rack at TJMaxx.

Form follows function: wear something comfortable and ideally fitted so your instructor can see the positioning of your limbs. This is not the time for baggy sweats and a t-shirt you got at a fraternity party in 1987. It's also not the best time for shorts and a sports bra. Yes, you'll be hot, but you want to use that heat to your advantage. Covering your midriff and thighs will keep those muscles nice and warm. You want them to be warm because trust me--you'll be making good use of them.

And wear grippy socks. You need grippy socks. Plank, flat-back chair, they're hard places to be. You don't need to make them harder by sliding all over the place. And you don't necessarily need the studio branded socks, though they make for a nice keepsake.

2. Get there early.

Plan to arrive a good ten to fifteen minutes early. You'll probably have a release form to sign, and you want to scope out the place. Find a spot by a mirror. You need to see yourself. Lots of novices tell me they don't like to look at themselves. PLEASE. Look at yourself. A glimpse of your reflection is invaluable! Take the time to get your equipment ready and...

3. Talk to the instructor.

Tell her (or him, but it will usually be a her) that you're a first-timer. Even if you're not new to barre, each studio has it's own schtick, and it's good to give the instructor a head's up that you may not be down with their lingo.

Also, be sure to tell the instructor if you have any injuries or wonky parts. That way she can offer you modifications for exercises that might be problematic for you.

4. Don't worry about how you look, or that everyone is looking at you.

Really. They're probably not looking at you. Everyone is in her (or his) own zone at the barre. Most of us are looking at our own reflections and just trying to get through the set. If you notice someone seems to be looking at you, it's probably just that she spaced out and missed the cue and is trying to figure out what's going on.

5. Try not to space out and miss the cues.

Really listen to what the instructor is saying. If she tells you to move an inch, she means... an inch. It's tempting to think if one is good, two must be better, but no. It isn't. Movements in barre are very precise. Moving your body in a very slightly different angle works different muscles, so try to stay focused.

6. Control all your movements and extend your limbs on every move.

Barre is all about really carefully controlling your muscles. It is not the place to be flailing around. This is not Zumba. (I'm not picking on Zumba, I'm just saying this is different.) Even in a really fast-paced class like Physique 57, you should not be bobbing up and down and flinging your limbs around. Keep everything really controlled. This is important.

Also, unless your instructor cues otherwise, you're going for extension. Fully extend your limbs on every move. Try to get your arms and legs as straight as you can. Usually extension is more important than height. I guarantee you will feel the difference when you focus on this.

7. The shaking? It's totally normal.

Instructor Suzanne Bowen of Suzanne Bowen Fitness uses the hashtag #shaketochange. Working your muscles to the point that they quiver is what you want to see. At my new studio crush, The Bar Method, they tell you to work to the point that you're shaking. If you're not, they'll tell you to get down lower. You don't need to back off from the shaking. It means you're doing it right. Those delicious endorphins I call the la-las? They live just beyond the shakes... #shakeforlalas.

8. Don't be intimidated by form corrections.

Welcome them! That's why you're here. We all need form corrections. They are not only for newbies. We all need form corrections. Can I say that again? Well, it's true.

Even the most experienced students need form tweaks. When you're fatigued at the end of a set, it is totally normal that your body tries to shift the work to muscles other than the ones being used in the exercise. Our bodies are always looking for the path of least resistance, and that's why we're in class. As wonderful as home videos can be, the advantage of a class is a trained instructor looking out for you, helping you through those moments when you start to cheat--even if you don't mean to.

A wise barre-ista despiseth not correction. 

Amen.

9. Expect to be sore.

Even if you're a total badass at whatever form of exercise you usually do, barre is different, and different activities usually make you sore. Stretch, foam roll, rest. And...

10. Go back.

You need to shake more than once to change. The best way to deal with your soreness is to just get back on the barre.

Not literally *on* the barre, but you know what I mean. 

Lastly, have fun! You've done it! You've found the holy grail! Yay!

He doesn't look like the lalas have kicked in yet...
Image: Lucasfilm