Bottoms Up! If Barre Classes Were Drinks

Barre studios have become *quite* prolific. So many have been opening in my area and I've checked out a few on my travels. I'm delighted to see barre really catching on nationally and globally. While I have my favorites, I find what works for one person might not work for another. We all have our preferences and priorities, and I think there is probably a barre for everyone.

Image: pageresource.com

Before I start, a few disclaimers: this is primarily based on live studio classes I've attended. I'm also mentioning online/DVD offerings. I've taken a lot of classes at some studios, and just a few at others.

And so, in no particular order, here's the barre mom's definitive guide:

A fine, rich cabernet sauvignon served in a beautifully appointed bar with a very attentive bartender making certain you are swirling your glass with just the right turn of the wrist and consuming it in the most effective manner.

Image: foodnetwork.com

As I mentioned in my review, TBM instructors are top-notch and very attentive. They will make sure you are getting the most out of your trip to the barre. This is very important to me and it's the main reason TBM is one of my top picks.

The Bar Method has been around for a long time, but growth has been at a measured pace, largely I suspect because of the long training period required of instructors. They're big on quality control. TBM offers several DVDs and has a large and growing library of online workouts with a variety of subscription options. I'd say the online workouts are on par with classes in terms of difficulty. I don't do the online workouts, however. I'm into TBM for the live instruction. It's not the cheapest workout around, but you get what you pay for. I give TBM an A for accessibility.

You might like Bar Method if: 

• You prize really great, personalized instruction. They've got your back. Trust me.

• You're a newbie. Since the workout tends to be slower-paced and ultra form-focused, it's great for beginners.

• You're more experienced and, consequently, you're not getting a whole lot of love at other studios. Instructors naturally focus much of their attention on students newer to barre, and that's totally understandable. Making sure the newer students have a sound grasp on good form is important. But more experienced students need some extra challenge to progress, too. I find TBM to be great in this respect.

You might not like TBM if:

• You like to fly under the radar. It's standard practice to call out form corrections at The Bar Method. I actually appreciate this because it means we can all benefit from one another, but I know some people don't like this. One person who's done TBM in another state told me she cringed out of fear that they'd call her out. If you like private correction, or to walk in and walk out without being noticed, TBM might not be the be the barre for you.

• You like a lot of variety. Bar Method classes do tend to be a little same-same. You'll see certain exercises quite frequently--some every class. 

• You're looking for some cardio. Bar Method classes are strictly for 'toning.'(I hate that word, but that's for another post.) Stretches tend to be brisk and there is little heart-rate elevation going on here. There is a 'Bar Move' class offered at some locations, but it hasn't come to my local yet. Apparently the moves are sequenced to give a little cardio boost. I'll try it one of these days and let you know what I think.

Image: physique57.com

A mojito, made with the best, most expensive rum, and depending on who is teaching, you might find an umbrella in that drink.

Image: dreamstime.com

P57 is very fast-paced. The tempo definitely brings the challenge level up a few notches. Instructors are uber-engaging and sometimes downright entertaining. P57 doesn't have a lot of studios (only in NYC, The Hamptons, LA., Dubai and now Bangkok), but they have DVDs and super pricey online workouts.

You might like P57 if:

• You find the average barre workout too slow or boring and you like to get some serious cardio/sweating along with your strength training. You will sweat at Physique. If you're not, you're either not a sweat-er, or you're not doing it right.

• You're more advanced and want some killer class options. Yes, Physique has options, which is so nice. In addition to the signature class (which comes in beginner, mixed, intermediate and advanced), there is pilates-inspired Mat, more advanced Formula 57 and a variety of special workshops and themed classes. 

• You like a high fun factor in your workouts. Oh my, Physique is so fun! I mean, fun in a very challenging sort of way. Most of the instructors are performers of one sort or another, so they are often quite entertaining. This can also up the challenge level--try to hold a forearm plank while Tanya Becker or Neil Totten are cracking jokes. Whoa.

• You have plenty of cash and are willing to spend it on your workouts. The price tag is STEEP. More on that later.

You might not like P57 if:

• You're a beginner and are just learning the ropes. I cut my teeth on P57, so starting here certainly can be done, but even beginner classes at the studios move quickly and it can be tough to keep up. For me, I needed the fast pace to keep me interested, but it's not for everyone.

• You prefer a more serene, 'meditative' workout. The stretching can be serene, but that's about it. Otherwise it's a pumping beat and go-go-go!

• You don't live in a studio location, you don't have pots of dough, and you've burned out on their limited selection of DVDs. P57 launched online workouts at a hefty $57 per month. They've only released a handful of streaming workouts for that sky-high price, though there are a few more in the pipeline. As much as I love P57, they get a C for accessibility.

Even with those cons, I can't deny that Physique 57 is still my all-time fave. I've been known to go to rather extreme lengths to take classes there (see here and here.) I *heart* Physique 57. <sigh>

Ok, moving on...

A green smoothie served up in a perfectly aligned glass. Founder Jill Dailey is a kinesiologist who puts a lot of focus on proper alignment and form. You can read my review here.

Image: poweroffood.com

You might like TDM if:

• You're a west-coaster. TDM is best represented in the wild west of the USA, though they have studios in other cities and even a couple of international locations.

• You have specific injuries or other need for modifications. I really haven't found other barre brands to be problematic for me, but TDM does pride itself on being uber-safe, and some of the exercises have a slightly different spin. I've only taken a few TDM classes, but typically found the instructors very attentive and knowledgeable.

• You need childcare. Certain locations offer childcare at some classes. Check your local listings.

You might not like TDM if:

• You don't live near a studio. They don't offer streaming service and only have two DVDs, which I have heard are effective but pretty boring. I've never tried them, though. For this reason, I'd give TDM a B- for accessibility.

Independent studios 

New England local Smuttynose Pumpkin Ale. 

A micro-brew beer infused with local character.

I don't typically review local, independent studios since my readership is scattered to the four winds, but forsake not your local indie! There are some real gems out there that may not be affiliated with well-known national barre brands. A nice local in my area is Modern Barre in Chestnut Hill, MA. I've also heard good things about the Hilliard Studio Method in Charlotte, NC, but I've never tried it. Someone please do and report back.

DC locals might want to check out Biker Barre on Capitol Hill, which offers spin and barre classes. Again, never been, but I know some regulars and they love it. It's on my list. And really, who can resist such an awesome name?

I also love the DVDs put out by The Ballet Physique in Colorado, though I've never been to a live class. We flew through Denver last year and I confessed to the Darling Husband that I was hoping for an overnight snow delay so I could try a class. (He didn't seem to share my enthusiasm for that plan.) When I travel, I love checking out different studios. Why eat at Chili's when you can try out a local taqueria? (Burr Leonard is cringing at that comparison, but hey, it's better than KFC!)

You might like indie studios if:

• You crave variety. Independents aren't constrained by the corporate guidelines to which franchised studios have to conform. Instructors often have the freedom to choose different music and try exercises you might not see in other classes. Modern Barre offers different class programming--a high-intensity interval training and a cardio barre class in addition to the signature barre offering. Owner Julia Williamson ends each barre class with a lavender aromatherapy cool down which is delightful--and trademarked. I mean, really trademarked. (Not like I trademark things.)

You might not like independents if:

• Obviously, the pros and cons of independents are highly variable, but you might find local studios have a sparse schedule compared to the big names. But really, it depends. Again, check your local listings.

Image: exhalespa.com

Fresh and bubbly, and definitely chug-worthy, a trip to Core Fusion will leave you lalala just like champers with a splash of OJ.

Image: blogs.dallasobserver.com

Like Physique 57, Core Fusion caters to a posh crowd. Studios are located in the most upscale neighborhoods of a few major cities, plus some resort locations. In short, where there are rich people. CF was one of the first off-shoots of the original Lotte Berk Method. Like P57's Tanya Becker, CF founders Elisabeth Halfpapp and Fred DeVito worked at LBM's New York City studio before it shut it's doors in 2005. CF classes are offered in conjunction with exhale spas (yes, the 'e' is lower case.)

CF also has a few DVDs. They are very reasonably-priced, though somewhat different and not nearly as challenging, in my opinion, as the live classes. CF gets a B+ for accessibility.

You might like CF if:

• You're looking for a special occasion barre. It's a treat to go to CF. Studios are very serene. Mother's Day is coming up (*hint hint) and wouldn't it be nice to go downtown to exhale Core Fusion, take a class and get some sort of yummy spa delight afterwards while you watch the kids and do the breakfast dishes? Why yes, Darling Husband, it would. Thank you for asking!

• You like options. CF offers several regular classes. In addition to traditional barre, there is yoga, Sport and Bootcamp (which you can read about here, here and here.) I've never tried the yoga, because yoga is really not my thing, but the variety is nice.

You might not like CF if:

• You live in the burbs and/or don't have money falling out of your wallet. CF is sorta fancy. In truth, barre tends to be fancy. This isn't Planet Fitness, but you get what you pay for. I mean, you'll never find free pizza at a barre studio, but facilities at Core Fusion are really lovely and instruction is great.

= Starbucks

Image: starbucks.com

This was probably my easiest drink comparison. Like Starbucks, Pure Barre is pretty much everywhere. It is by far the most prolific barre brand with well over 200 studios throughout the United States and they're expanding into Canada. There is a pretty consistent format to PB workouts and the verbiage is the same no matter where you go. The warm-up is also the same in every studio and changes every three months. Instructors then have a menu of exercises to choose from for the other components of the class. PB studios are independently owned, so classes are not transferable from studio to studio, but if you're travelling and attend another studio, you'll notice it's quite similar to home. (Read my review here.)

PB has a handful of DVDs. Not many, but a few. No streaming yet. DVDs are not available everywhere and are on the higher end of DVD pricing. But there are studios all over the place, so I'd give PB an A for accessibility.

You might like PB if:

• It's convenient, and it probably is. My local offers many class times throughout the week, and the owner of my local also owns the studio in the neighboring town, so in this case, I can go to either location depending on what best fits my schedule.

• You like consistency. As mentioned, the format and cueing are pretty much the same wherever you go. They do change up some of the exercises, so you don't get a whole lot of repeat moves, apart from the warm up/arms segment in the beginning.

• You're looking for friends, not just a workout. This may not be true of all PB locations, but at my local, they really do foster a nice sense of community. They do special challenges and events from time to time, like the Plank Off that I participated in last summer. They have a 'Bring on the Men' event a few times a year, during which women are encouraged to bring husbands, boyfriends, brothers, etc. (I haven't been able to sell this kind of thing to my Darling yet, but you never know.) This might be largely due to my local owner's personality--she's very warm and friendly and very open to feedback. PB can be a nice place to make new friends.

You might not like PB if:

• You're looking for very attentive, engaging instruction, or advanced options. I've found PB instructors to be kind of hit-or-miss. Some are really on it, while others seem to just roam around the room. Also, the degree of difficulty can vary widely. I've taken some classes that were quite manageable and others that were wicked hard. And since there is only one class type, you don't really know how it's going to be until you're in the middle of it.

• You're brand new to barre. I've brought a few barre virgins to PB and they've typically found it a little frustrating. Like Starbucks, PB definitely has it's own lingo, so if 'box out your arm on the barre' doesn't mean anything to you, you might find PB frustrating until you learn to speak their language. This can be mitigated by alerting the instructor that you're new. Lots of people got their releves wet at PB, so I'm not saying it's a bad place to start, just not the best, in my opinion.

= a long island iced tea served in a sippy cup.

Image: babygizmo.com

Barre3 is a mix of a lot of different elements--barre, yoga, pilates, compound moves and it really caters to the Mommy crowd. They are expanding their studio business, and they have a very robust online streaming service, as well as DVDs, a print book and a mobile app. Barre3 definitely gets an A+ for accessibility. (Class review here.)

You might like barre3 if:

• You need childcare. Barre3 offers it for some classes, and may God bless them for it.

• You're looking for something a little different. This is not your standard barre class. B3 throws a lot of different elements into the mix and can make for a nice change if you need a break from up-an-inch-down-an-inch.

• You are looking for a cardio component. The compound moves in barre3 definitely get your heart pumping.

You might not like barre3 if:

• You don't like lots and lots of reps. I only took one class at barre3 so I'm reticent to criticize anything, but there were LOTS of reps and the instructor said that was typical. So, FYI.

• You're looking for a serene, calming experience. I didn't find barre3 to be serene. But I don't really need that in a workout. Just my bed. I need my bed to be serene.

***********************

So there you go, that's my take on the barre scene. The more I talk to other barre devotees, the more I see that convenience and location are the key factors that drive people's choices. A studio that's affordable and easy to get to is pretty key. Obviously, not all studios can be all things to all people, and working out is something you really need to do a few times a week. So that's a huge consideration. But people like different things. I like it when an instructor is all up in my grill; others find that off-putting. Some are looking for social connection; others just want to get in and get out.

I slogged through a lot of hard classes and, even more importantly, drank A LOT to bring you this in-depth report. It was tough, but I live to serve. Bottoms up!

Ten Tips for Your First Trip to the Barre

The main reason I started A Mom Walks into a Barre was to share my love for this most wonderful and effective form of exercise. For me, barre is the workout holy grail, and I love it when readers tell me they're getting into it, too. Yay! Love to share the barre love!

Sometimes people send me messages along the lines of 'I'm going to my first class and I'm terrified.' Oh dear. Let's not quite think of it that way. It's your first trip to the barre! Have someone take a picture. What a rite of passage! You'll never forget it.

But I can relate to the terrified. I remember my first class... A beginner level with Ashley Yeater at Physique 57 in New York. Even though I had been doing barre videos for months and months, I was still, honestly, kind of scared. What were they going to do to me? How badly was this going to hurt? Were they all going to be total babes? It sort of felt like my first day of middle school.

And I was afraid I might look a little like Lucy:

But it was OK. I did fine, and so will you. Here are a few tips for newbies:

1. Dress the part.

PLEASE NOTE: This does NOT mean you need to spend two month's salary at Lululemon. Yes, barre tends to cater to an upscale crowd and that will be reflected in workout wear, but you can absolutely get by with something from the clearance rack at TJMaxx.

Form follows function: wear something comfortable and ideally fitted so your instructor can see the positioning of your limbs. This is not the time for baggy sweats and a t-shirt you got at a fraternity party in 1987. It's also not the best time for shorts and a sports bra. Yes, you'll be hot, but you want to use that heat to your advantage. Covering your midriff and thighs will keep those muscles nice and warm. You want them to be warm because trust me--you'll be making good use of them.

And wear grippy socks. You need grippy socks. Plank, flat-back chair, they're hard places to be. You don't need to make them harder by sliding all over the place. And you don't necessarily need the studio branded socks, though they make for a nice keepsake.

2. Get there early.

Plan to arrive a good ten to fifteen minutes early. You'll probably have a release form to sign, and you want to scope out the place. Find a spot by a mirror. You need to see yourself. Lots of novices tell me they don't like to look at themselves. PLEASE. Look at yourself. A glimpse of your reflection is invaluable! Take the time to get your equipment ready and...

3. Talk to the instructor.

Tell her (or him, but it will usually be a her) that you're a first-timer. Even if you're not new to barre, each studio has it's own schtick, and it's good to give the instructor a head's up that you may not be down with their lingo.

Also, be sure to tell the instructor if you have any injuries or wonky parts. That way she can offer you modifications for exercises that might be problematic for you.

4. Don't worry about how you look, or that everyone is looking at you.

Really. They're probably not looking at you. Everyone is in her (or his) own zone at the barre. Most of us are looking at our own reflections and just trying to get through the set. If you notice someone seems to be looking at you, it's probably just that she spaced out and missed the cue and is trying to figure out what's going on.

5. Try not to space out and miss the cues.

Really listen to what the instructor is saying. If she tells you to move an inch, she means... an inch. It's tempting to think if one is good, two must be better, but no. It isn't. Movements in barre are very precise. Moving your body in a very slightly different angle works different muscles, so try to stay focused.

6. Control all your movements and extend your limbs on every move.

Barre is all about really carefully controlling your muscles. It is not the place to be flailing around. This is not Zumba. (I'm not picking on Zumba, I'm just saying this is different.) Even in a really fast-paced class like Physique 57, you should not be bobbing up and down and flinging your limbs around. Keep everything really controlled. This is important.

Also, unless your instructor cues otherwise, you're going for extension. Fully extend your limbs on every move. Try to get your arms and legs as straight as you can. Usually extension is more important than height. I guarantee you will feel the difference when you focus on this.

7. The shaking? It's totally normal.

Instructor Suzanne Bowen of Suzanne Bowen Fitness uses the hashtag #shaketochange. Working your muscles to the point that they quiver is what you want to see. At my new studio crush, The Bar Method, they tell you to work to the point that you're shaking. If you're not, they'll tell you to get down lower. You don't need to back off from the shaking. It means you're doing it right. Those delicious endorphins I call the la-las? They live just beyond the shakes... #shakeforlalas.

8. Don't be intimidated by form corrections.

Welcome them! That's why you're here. We all need form corrections. They are not only for newbies. We all need form corrections. Can I say that again? Well, it's true.

Even the most experienced students need form tweaks. When you're fatigued at the end of a set, it is totally normal that your body tries to shift the work to muscles other than the ones being used in the exercise. Our bodies are always looking for the path of least resistance, and that's why we're in class. As wonderful as home videos can be, the advantage of a class is a trained instructor looking out for you, helping you through those moments when you start to cheat--even if you don't mean to.

A wise barre-ista despiseth not correction. 

Amen.

9. Expect to be sore.

Even if you're a total badass at whatever form of exercise you usually do, barre is different, and different activities usually make you sore. Stretch, foam roll, rest. And...

10. Go back.

You need to shake more than once to change. The best way to deal with your soreness is to just get back on the barre.

Not literally *on* the barre, but you know what I mean. 

Lastly, have fun! You've done it! You've found the holy grail! Yay!

He doesn't look like the lalas have kicked in yet...
Image: Lucasfilm

The Best of the Barre Crawl!

I had a post full of deep thoughts ready to go, but then I decided since it's St. Patrick's Day I'd write about my barre crawl and Irish people. Somehow it seemed more festive. And it goes better with beer.

So I got up bright and early on Saturday (3.30am, to be precise.) I had a wicked head cold and I couldn't breathe. I tried to fall back to sleep. I couldn't. Not an auspicious way to start a barre crawl, but what can you do? It was too late to turn back. So I got on the bus.

First stop: West 73rd St, Mat class with Neil. High on coffee and Dayquil. This is Neil:

Oh my, Neil is *SO* funny. He had us all laughing while inflicting a fair degree of pain. The nice thing about Mat, though, is you get to lie down some. While doing hard things, but at least you get to be on the floor. Mat is a good class to take when you've been up since 3.30. FYI.

Thoroughly enjoyed the class, left with lalalas and headed off through Central Park to 57th Street for a Mixed level with Sarah. 

Did she mean it to be wicked hard? I mean, like way harder than most mixed-level classes? Or was it the head cold? Or the 3.30am? Or the fact that we had just done Mat? Because it was wicked hard. Wicked. Hard. I was almost a little delirious when it was over. But I still managed to smile for a picture with Sarah: 

One thing that got me through the class was the very fun playlist of Irish music. Irish people are good at music. Whoever said music gets you through hard stuff is right. Maybe James Joyce said that? No. Can't be him otherwise it would have been a much longer run-on sentence you know we're having lasagne for dinner tonight not very festive but we're not Irish.

Anyway, by this point I was completely spent, so thankfully the next class was a stretch. By that, I mean a Stretch Class with Holly at Spring St. During which we stretched to more Irish music. This is Holly:

Isn't she cute?

The stretching was nice, but I was cold by the time I got there and a little cranky. I blame it on 3.30. But I did win a raffle prize! So that was fun. And they gave us green juice. And Kind granola bars along the way, which were super yummy... and I think there were oats in them, which is kind of Irish-y, no? I'd post a picture but I ate them. (The Kind bars... not the picture.)

Then I skulked down to the Darling Cousin's place and collapsed on her couch, thus. We ordered Indian take-away and I vegged in my new, hard earned t-shirt. I thought vegging kept with the theme because most vegetables are green.

I normally don't do a whole lot for St. Patrick's Day since, as previously noted, I don't really self-identify as Irish. Though practically everyone is a little bit Irish. My Chinese Darling Husband thinks he's probably the exception to the rule, but I don't know... that would explain why we have a blue-eyed son.

So yes, I survived my first barre crawl. And I actually felt pretty good yesterday--just pleasantly sore, which is better than I expected. A friend said she wanted to come with me next time, so I told her to start training! Because the next time it's offered, I'm crawling back for more.

My Latest Barre Crawl and the Science Behind the Lalas!

I'm sick. I'm a sick woman. I know this. Last month, I drove three hours to Scarsdale, NY to use my free Physique 57 class. People thought I was nuts, especially since I paid the cost of the class in gas and tolls, but I didn't care. I couldn't pass up a free class. And in my economy, it was totally worth it.

Well, I did it again. Except this time, I dragged my entire family from San Diego to Los Angeles to go to Physique 57 Beverly Hills!

I think I've mentioned that I'm on a pilgrimmage to visit all of Physique's studios. I've hit all three in Manhattan, the one in Scarsdale and now LA. All I have left is Bridgehampton and DUBAI. Right--the one in the Middle East. I'm not sure that's ever going to happen, unless I start entering travel contests.

As an East Coaster, I forget that everything isn't as close together on the West Coast as it is here. I live in Massachusetts. You can get from one end of the state to the other in three hours. Tops. I figured San Diego and LA are not only both in California, they're in southern California. How far apart could they be? I mean, really?

Two hours and forty-five minutes, actually, plus traffic, which in SoCal is notorious. My Darling Husband actually consented to spend an entire day of our vacation for this. We left at 7am and got back to San Diego at 4.30pm. (We stopped for meals. And potty breaks.) He took the small people to the Beverly Hills post office while I got my sweat on. The DH is a wonderful man. And I am insane.

But it was totally worth it!! LALALALA!!!!

The whole thing was wonderful, from friendly Michelle at the front desk to the final stretch, I loved it. I signed up for a mixed level with Chloe. It was awesome!! She was awesome. The pushups, the waterski, the flat-back chair, the thigh dancing, it was all awesome!

All of this contributed to major post-barre lalas, which is just Stephanie-speak for endorphins. Really, I get the most extraordinary endorphin rush from a good barre workout--more than any other type of exercise I have ever done in my life. And I've done lots of different kinds of exercise. This led me to wonder... what is it about barre? Why are the lalas sooo intense? So I did a little bit of my world-famous exhaustive internet research.^tm

Everything You Never Wanted to Know About the Lalas

Endorphins are chemicals that your body produces as a response to certain stimuli. Food and sex are a couple of the more pleasant prompts for endorphin production, but another initiator is pain. Your body will stimulate an endorphin response to ease pain. In fact, many women who have natural childbirths say it hurt--a LOT--but they experienced absolute euphoria immediately afterwards. I wouldn't know because I took the drugs, but that's what I'm told.

In exercise terms, endorphin production has been found to be highest in anaerobic activities--those that get you to seriously suck wind. Researchers have found that light-to-moderate exercise does not produce endorphins. I'm not saying light exercise doesn't have benefits--it just won't give you lalas.

Obviously, you want to seek out the good pain--the burning, the shaking, the quaking--to get your lala fix. Sharp pain is not your friend, so please stop if you feel bad pain. But don't be afraid of the burn/shake/quake. That's where the lalas live. It's a very happy place! Once I get there I'm so blissed out... it's beautiful, and I love it there. The only problem is the amount of energy I have to expend to ensure I haven't left my phone, my keys, my wallet, etc. I would be a very easy target for the Artful Dodger and his minions after a toasty barre class, and my visit to Physique 57 Beverly Hills was no exception.

With the small people in the lobby after class. Don't I look happy? Lalala!

The other really fun thing about this class was my barre-mate--none other than Fox sportscaster Erin Andrews, who is a huge Physique fan.

Erin appeared in one of Physique's online videos. She's their it-girl, and it kind of rounded out my whole crazy Physique 57 love-fest. I think Erin must have a very fun life. She lives near a Physique studio, she was in a video, and she had great seats at Fenway when the Sox won the World Series.

Of course, I marched right up to her at the end and introduced myself. I figured if we got all sweaty together, the least we could do is have a little chat. I've become very bold since I had children. My small people are very friendly and will talk to anyone. In fact, they accosted poor Chloe on the way out and told her all about the post office.

Erin and I gushed about our love for founder Tanya Becker and all things Physique. Lalala... the endorphins were flowing freely and all was right with the world.

"Look Mommy! We need to go to Bridgehampton next. I bet they have a post office."

Or maybe, Dubai? How do you say 'lalala' in arabic??

Why Barre is Great Exercise for Mothers... and Others!

My sister-in-law was just safely delivered of a little baby girl! I'm an auntie again! There is another wee one for me to love and watch grow up, yet I won't have to potty train her! Being an aunt is great!

This blessed event has caused the Darling Husband and I to reflect on the days following our boys' births. The joy... the exhaustion... and the terror of you're-not-actually-going-to-send-him-home-with-us?? Darling Son #2's birth was particularly exciting. There were some significant complications that led to his delivery via vertical C-section, which is more invasive than the usual kind. It was absolutely the right decision. I shudder at how he impaired he would be if he had gone through the birth canal... but basically, the doctor filleted me to get him out safely, and I still feel the effects of it.

Two days old in the NICU.



Overnight I went from having a very strong abdominal wall to no core strength. For a long time after I couldn't sit up without pulling myself forward with my arms, which caused shoulder and upper back pain. My hip flexors took over some of the jobs my abs should have been doing. After a while, I couldn't get out of a chair without searing pain in my hip.

My boy continued to grow, consistently scratching the ceiling of the growth charts, but his condition has resulted in significant developmental delays, meaning he had to be carried, lifted and assisted for many tasks other kids his age learned to do on their own. This translated to a lot of lower back pain for me, since I didn't have the core strength to support him.

I had worked out all throughout my pregnancy and, after the initial recovery period, I resumed my weights/cardio/circuit workouts. I was still plagued with aches and pains. I tried some new workouts, and they only made things worse--more aches and pains, plus I developed an agonizing foot condition, plantar fasciitis. I could barely walk on top of everything else. In short, I was a mess.

I had started doing Physique 57 DVDs during my pregnancy and loved them, but after I hadn't done them with enough consistency to see marked benefit. When DS2 was 15 months old, I decided to undertake one of their rigorous monthly challenges--30 to 90 minutes of Physique, six days a week. I got up early and did it first thing in the morning before anyone else was up. Sometimes this meant as early as 4am, but I was determined.

By the end of that first month, my plantar fasciitis was completely healed and my other discomforts had subsided significantly. I could get up and down with ease! My hip flexor pain was greatly reduced, my posture was better and my back didn't hurt anymore.

People are often asking me about my 'results' from barre. Really, I get emails regularly about this, and I'm realizing most people want to hear about pounds and inches lost. Yes, I lost some pounds and inches, but what I gained was far more than that--I can get up out of a chair! I hop out of bed in the morning like I did when I was a child! I feel my core switch on when I need to lift or shift my nearly 40lb. child! Do you have any idea how wonderful this is?? Honestly, I get misty when I think about it. Barre gave me my body back. This is why I am so passionate about it.

So what is it about barre? Here are a few reasons why it's great for mothers... and others:

Barre workouts are very core-focused. I learned the hard way that a weak trunk sets you up for all kinds of problems. If your core isn't up for the task, your body will call on other muscles to pick up the slack--muscles that weren't designed to do what you're asking of them. A good barre workout will work your abdominals from start to finish, and will include back strengthening exercises as well. Even if you aren't strong enough to do some of the movements at first, getting into proper position and holding it will recruit those core muscles and begin to strengthen them. I'm still not quite where I was before I had DS2. I don't know that I'll ever be, but my core strength has significantly improved.

A little bit goes a long way. It's hard to make time for workouts when you have small children, but I find even doing just a little bit of a DVD yields big dividends. Sometimes I'll do the warm-up/arm section and that's all I can get in before an interruption. I'll go back later and do the thigh section, then maybe seat or abs after that. Whatever I can get in is time well-spent.

Barre is posture/alignment focused. Pregnancy and caring for small children is hard on your posture. Carrying weight on your front (be it from pregnancy or carrying a small person around) can cause your shoulders to round and your back to arch. Good form is key, and a good barre workout will develop postural muscles and have you standing straighter throughout the day.

The stretching! Barre workouts incorporate a lot of stretching. I know I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. Stretching muscles after strength work results in greater strength gains, not to mention the obvious benefit of improved flexibility and feeling-great-ness. Love the stretching!!

Minimal equipment! Nothing can replace the awesomeness of a live class with a knowledgeable instructor, and I suggest everyone take a live class from time to time. But there are many great barre videos that offer good form pointers, and most use little to no equipment. AND, these workouts are usually performed without shoes, which is great if you have small people who are sometimes quite literally underfoot.

Lastly, barre is no-impact. I don't mean low impact--I mean no impact. This is a great blessing when you have relaxin coursing through your body. Relaxin is the hormone that allows the uterus and pelvis to accommodate the baby during childbirth. It remains as long as you are breastfeeding and makes your joints feel loose. It's a weird sensation, and any impact exercise just didn't feel good to me. A challenging barre workout can give you some great intensity without jarring your already wonky joints.

Mercifully, the DS2 is doing great. He started walking last summer (Praise God and all His cherubim and seraphim!) and is learning to climb in and out of carseats, chairs, etc. He is a joy and a delight, and absolutely worth all it took to have him. And he loves barre! He says, 'Let's do workout,' and has co-opted the kitchen towel rack as his barre.

I'm never going to be able to keep a towel there again...

Why It's a Good Idea to Read Food Labels

Remember that old definition of insanity--doing the same thing but expecting different results? I might have come up with a new one--driving three hours to take a one hour barre class, then getting back in the car and driving home.

Yup, I trucked back down to Physique 57 Scarsdale yesterday, and came straight back. Look for it in the next edition of the DSM. My only defense is that I had a free class to redeem, and I simply can't let a free class sit on the table. The drive was actually fairly pleasant--I got to listen to whatever I wanted on the radio! No Thomas the Tank Engine Songs for me! Yay!

Of course, I'll tell you it was worth it--a burn worthy hour with Brady that culminated in an assisted stretch! That's when the instructor gently pushes you deeper into the final stretches. I love it when I'm the assisted stretch recipient. Lalalala....

Following class I was my usual disoriented self. In fact, I nearly forgot my purse, so I decided to float over to the grocery store before attempting to operate a motor vehicle. I was in the mood for some kind of drink... not the sangria kind, which naturally would not have assisted the motor vehicle operation, but something... I don't know... juice-y? Protein-y?

I settled on this fascinating concoction:

A quinoa smoothie! With blueberries! Goodness, doesn't that sound like dietary virtue in a bottle? There were all kinds of healthy buzz-phrases on the label... things like 'ancient grains' and 'vegan superfood.' What's not to love about that? It conjures up images powerful Incan warriors... a smoothie, of all things, that has withstood the test of the ages. Clearly, I'm a sucker for marketing. Post-barre lalalas don't assist in deductive reasoning.

I was excited to slurp down my 'super punch of nutrition' that included 'all nine essential amino acids' and was 'rich in fiber.' The only problem was the mild chocolate craving I was having. I didn't really want to get chocolate because I knew I was spending a total of six hours sitting in the car. Not exactly a calorie torching day, even factoring in what Brady had done to me.

Then I remembered something my friend and reader Deb told me--apparently chocolate milk has been determined to be a pretty decent recovery drink. It contains (according to Deb) 'the perfect balance of protein and carbohydrates for replenishing and restoring muscles after exercise and minimizing DOMS (delayed onset muscle soreness.)' Before you spit out whatever you're drinking and decide I have taken complete leave of my senses, I should tell you that Deb is actually a registered dietitian. She admitted she hadn't thoroughly read the studies because she really likes chocolate milk and didn't want to jinx it, but Deb is a very sensible person, so I picked up a little chocolate milk, too.

Now for the moment of truth: the quinoa smoothie? YUCKY. Not yummy AT ALL. The chocolate milk? VERY YUMMY.

Then I read the labels.

Turns out the quinoa smoothie had more calories than the chocolate milk, about the same sugar content, and less protein, calcium and vitamin D. And by 'less' I mean WAY less. The smoothie had slightly more iron and fiber, but not much. It was also twice the price. Gah. I feel like an idiot.

When I got home, I did a little research into chocolate milk. One study tested chocolate milk as a workout recovery drink on nine cyclists. Each cyclist biked to exhaustion, then rested for four hours... and by 'rested' I mean they drank low-fat chocolate milk, Gatorate or another high-carbohydrate sports drink called Endurox R4. Then they they hopped back on the bikes and cycled to exhaustion again.

The chocolate milk drinkers performed just as well or better as those who drank the other stuff, and milk has the added benefits of calcium and vitamin D. Of course, there were only nine of them, so take that for what it's worth. I think the word has gotten out on it, though. I saw several chocolate milk trucks on the way home. It's a sign.

However, here's the sticky wicket--not every activity needs to be followed by a carb-rich recovery drink like chocolate milk. Or any recovery drink, other than water. These beverages are best suited to endurance-type activities, not so much a walk with a neighbor around the block, or even a nice thigh-toasty barre class. For many exercisers, recovery drinks are just unnecessary calories. My milk box was only 150 calories, not bad for a treat. So enjoy a little chocolate milk, but don't go crazy with it.

The moral of the story is that some things seem really healthy, but aren't necessarily better for you than foods you think of as... well, not-so-healthy. Though I would like to point out that my chocolate milk was 'produced without antibiotics, synthetic hormones and toxic pesticides.' It's also from farmer-owned Organic Valley, which means the cows all sit criss-cross-applesauce in a grassy field and sing kumbaya.

Marketing is powerful.

What I Learned From Spying on Cassie

We're home now after a whirlwind trip to New York City where I spent some quality time at my HAPPY PLACE!!!

Gateway to happiness!!!

I promise I'll stop blogging about Physique 57 soon, but I can't move on to other topics without telling about my latest two classes. I loved them. Dearly. Really, if Physique 57 were a person, I'd marry it.

Speaking of being married, yes--I already am, and must pause for a moment to give a big shout out to the Darling Husband, who dealt with our small people while I hung out with my other lover. A squirrely six-year-old + two-year-old who has not yet learned to heel + stroller + Rockefeller Center + gigantic Christmas tree + tourists + subway = one harried husband. The look on his face once I returned from my classes was harrowing. (It must be what I look like everyday when he comes home from work.)

We flew into the City on two wheels Friday afternoon and I hurried up to Spring Street to take a mixed level with Emily. Oh, these Physique instructors... they're so engaging, you feel like you're besties after just one class.

This is Emily. Her dog likes giraffes. FYI.

Awesome. It was awesome, unsurprisingly. Emily is energetic and cute as a button, as per usual with Physique instructors. I didn't pull out all my Olympic-style-live-class-badassness for this one because the following day I was scheduled for Formula 57, one of Physique's specialty classes. I'm taking a wild guess that Formula is pretty hard considering they "recommend clients take 20 Mixed or Intermediate classes as well as several Mat 57 classes beforehand." So I decided I should pace myself and took 8 pounders as my 'heavy' weights instead of 10s. Then Emily praised someone else for using 10 pounders and I wanted to shout out (like the nerdy tool that I am), "Teacher! I can do 10 pounds, too!" It's ok, though, because a few minutes later she patted me on the head and gave me a cookie for my nice, deep, wide second-position plié, so that was good. Woof.

However, I ended up having one of my bad sleep nights, clocking barely five hours. That is not good when you're performing in the Olympics, people, so at the last minute I switched from Formula to Mat 57. Not that I expected Mat to be easy. Nothing at Physique is easy, but I figured in Mat I'd at least get to be on the floor a little bit more often. This turned out to be a most serendipitous decision!

The instructor for Mat was Kim, who was the beginner modifier in the Classic Vol. 2 DVD. This means she is like a member of my family because I LOVE that one and have done it 500,000 times. Kim was.... oh my goodness.... awesome. (You knew I was going to say that.) She had another class immediately before that backed right up against ours. That would leave me exhausted and wanting to climb under a rock for having to be so perky and sweet for two hours, but Kim's enthusiasm never let up. She was warm, engaging, energetic--all without being annoying. If I were that perky, you'd want to smack me. I don't know how she did it. I'll have whatever she's having.

This is Kim. She smiles more in real life.



The really fun part of Mat was that Cassie, the beginner modifier from the Classic Vol. 1 DVD was taking the class, too! (Again, love it. Done it 500,000 times, Cassie-like-member-of-family, etc.)

I had never taken a class with a Physique instructor as a fellow student and wow, it was awesome. She was just behind me to the left and I kept watching her in the mirror and craning my neck to see her. Here are a few things I learned:

• Cassie's movements were very controlled. There was no flailing around to get into position, as I am inclined to do when a class moves as quickly as Mat. Cassie flowed from one move to the next.
• Barre is famous for small movements--in any barre class, they'll get you into some about-to-be-insanely-painful position and then tell you to move 'up an inch, down an inch.' One of the things I love about Physique is that there are also some gross motor moves thrown into the mix, but you'll still hear a fair bit of 'up an inch, down an inch.' When Kim called out this command, Cassie moved quite literally an inch. It can be tempting to think 'I'll be a badass and move more than an inch, because if one inch is good, two must be better.' No. It isn't.
• Cassie fully extended her limbs on every move. It was beautiful to watch and it's really the way to get into some of those deeper muscles. I tend to have very tight hamstrings, so I struggle with fully extending my legs on certain exercises. However, I really feel the difference when I try.
• Cassie is a dancer and watching her do Mat was like watching a dance. I've always wondered why barre studios have this thing about hiring instructors with a background in dance. You really don't need to be a dancer to do barre, but if you kind of treat it like a dance, you get more out of it. I am NOT a dancer. I have never taken a dance class in my life (and it shows) so at first, I felt kind of silly acting like one in a live class, but I'm learning to get over it. This is one of the nice things about getting older--I don't care as much what people think. Just leave me to my pretend Alvin Ailey performance, thank you very much.

I had a lovely little chat with Kim after class (you know, the one who might as well be my sister,) and would have loved to have accosted my other sister Cassie, but she was talking with other people. I'm really kicking myself for not having taken a picture with the two of them (you know, to put in next year's Christmas card) but I was honestly a little disoriented after Mat. Post-barre lalalas + lack of sleep + starstruckness = very foggy brain. I was concentrating mostly on remembering to gather up my belongings (don'tforgetyourshoes, don'tforgetyourshoes, dontforgetyourshoes.) What a missed opportunity. Mom would have loved to see a picture of the kids she never knew she had.

Cassie might read this one day and be really freaked out that someone studied her in class and then blogged about it... I'm sorry, Cassie. Sometimes sisters have complicated relationships. We'll work it out in therapy one day. I'm sure Kim will serve as a great mediator. (She seems like she'd be good at that. I bet she's a middle child.)

The only problem with Physique is that the closest studio is three hours from my home, which is good news for my faithful readers who are done with my studio crush on Physique 57. Next time I'll talk about something else. Maybe I'll finally get to the post about the evils of sitting, which I know I promised you weeks ago, but I had to pause my exhaustive research because I got sucked in to a fascinating book on the Wars of the Roses. Lord, if there were ever people who needed a good marriage and family therapist, it was those Yorks and Lancasters.... maybe they should have called Kim?

PS--if you're interested in Kim's Mat 57 class, there's a great, funny review on Rate Your Burn, which I think is spot-on (love the bit about thinking Kim had been raised on a candy farm in the mid-west. hahaha! Great joke. Wish I'd thought of that.) Mat 57 is similar in format to Physique's Strong and Lean online workout, if like me, you regrettably live three + hours away from a studio.

How I'm Spending my Christmas Vacation

Sweating. At Physique 57! The happiest place on earth!

Well, for me, anyway. I made the next stop on my barre crawl: Physique 57 Scarsdale.

Yup, Physique 57 has made it's way to New York's Westchester County, and coincidentally, good friends of ours just moved there. Prior to Scarsdale, our friends lived just a few blocks from P57's Upper West Side location. I keep trying to get Darling Scarsdale Friend to come with me, but she's not interested. Some people have no appreciation for the awesomeness that's right under their noses.

Anyway, I mentioned something about needing to come back to their house after the class for a shower before we headed to our Christmas destination and DSF said, "Why will you need to shower? Isn't it just a lot of stretching?" Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! <sigh> Uh, no, it is much more than stretching. Maybe it's better she didn't come with me.

The best part of the class is that it was taught by the one and only Tanya Becker. I was so excited to take another class with Tanya, one of Physique 57's founders. You may recall I took one with her back in May, during which she kicked my tail to such a degree that I couldn't walk downstairs for a week. Still, Tanya is such a great instructor, I couldn't wait to get back for more. I had to expend a lot of energy trying not to overwhelm her with my enthusiasm. I'm a little labrador puppy-ish when it comes to taking classes with Tanya.

See? Don't I appear very restrained? And fluffy? Needless to say, it was before class.

Physique 57 starts off classes with what they quaintly call 'the warm-up.' It involves heavier upper body weights, pushups, planks, etc. It's hard, and I was in full sweat by the end... of 'the warm-up.' Tanya instructed us to return our weights to the bins and one of my classmates beheld my sweaty beastliness with a look like this:

Tanya said, "It's ok, Stephanie. I'll turn on the fans for you." I think I have to accept it: I'm a heavy sweat-er.

The whole thing made me wonder about sweat, and why some of us seem to do more of it than others, so I did some research. Here is what I learned:

• Men tend to sweat more than women. (Well, obviously this doesn't apply to me. Really, I can procure all manner of pork products and fry them up in a pan. I'm all woman.)
• Sweat is the body's way of cooling off when it becomes overheated. Overweight and obese people sweat more than people at a lower weight because it takes more to cool off heavier bodies. 
• Apparently, fit people do begin to sweat at a lower temperature, because a fit body runs more efficiently than an unfit one. (Let's go with that explanation.)

But actually, I have another theory--it's my whole 'this is the Olympics' hang up. As I think I've mentioned before, I don't like to leave anything on the table when I take a live class, especially at Physique 57. It's such a treat to get there. I don't want to leave feeling like I could have done more. That, and I really try to maximize 'the warm-up.' I have found that when I push myself in 'the warm-up,' I get much more out of the workout overall. 

By using the heaviest weights I can (with proper form) and giving it my all, I 'stoke my metabolic rate,' as Tanya puts it. For example, when I use 10 pounders instead of 8's, I burn significantly more calories throughout the entire workout. And by significantly, I mean 50-100 calories overall (according to my heart rate monitor.) That's a big chunk, people. I've tested this theory using the DVDs, which means I'm doing exactly the same workout, unlike the classes during which exercises and intensity can vary. 

That's why I kind of chuckle when they call it 'the warm-up.' Really, it's more like 'the blow torch.'

The great thing about Physique 57 instructors is they really push you. (In a nice way, because they care.) They don't just leave you alone if your form is good, they will get the most out of you.

For example, Tanya had us on the floor for ab work toward the end. We were on our backs with our legs up and she had us alternating side-to-side with our arms outstretched. Tanya held her hands up for me to 'high five' her on each lift, which made me reach up just a little bit higher, because of course I couldn't leave Tanya hanging. I was pretty tired at this point, but Tanya showed me what I had left in me, and it was... well... it was something, at least.

Tanya is also seriously funny. She was cracking jokes the whole time which made the hour fly by. I loved every minute of it and can't wait to get back.

The best part: all my training over the last few months paid off. I am proud to say I can successfully negotiate stairs despite a few killer thigh segments yesterday. I can't straighten my arms, but who cares. It's Christmas. As long as I can open presents and lift a wine glass, I'm good.

If you are anywhere near Scarsdale, NY, get thee to Physique 57! Starting in January, they're expanding their class schedule, and the studio is uber-suburban convenient. I hopped right in my car after I got over all the post-barre lalalas. And look!

The temperature was 57 degrees! Freakishly warm for December. Even the weather joined in on the P57 love fest. How about you?

In It to Win It

I've started entering contests. Barre studios, fitness-related businesses, blogs more famous than mine, they have contests. I've typically not bothered because really, I never win anything, so why try? But of course, if you don't try, you're guaranteed never to win anything. So I'm trying.

Usually these contests involve sharing something on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. You know, you promote them, they reward you with the lure of free stuff. Well, I'll play the game. I need to find a way to support my habit, so sure, I'll retweet something for ya.

Here's what I'm in the running for at the moment:

• Two months of unlimited classes at my local Pure Barre. (Can you see the drool? Yes, that's drool, not sweat.)

• Five free classes at Physique 57 and a portable ballet barre. (Oh please. How fun would this be?? I'm driving through NYC at Christmas time. If I win this, Darling Husband is going to actually have to buy me a Christmas present.)

• A bag of treats from The Ballet Physique, a boutique studio in Colorado that put out a couple of fine barre DVDs last year. I'll review them one of these days. I'm hoping I'll win and get some cute BP grippy socks. Surely a bag of treats from a barre studio would include grippy socks?

A lot of these contests are just luck-of-the-draw, which means I can't rely on my wit and charm. Though some of the contests have required some degree of effort. For the Physique 57 contest, I had to take a picture of myself doing one of their moves during my Thanksgiving travels. I dragged the boys downtown to the Public Garden and made them kneel down on the cold, hard ground by the Make Way for Ducklings sculpture. It was quite literally freezing and they were thoroughly confused as to why we were kneeling and cheering by the ducks. "We're trying to win a contest! Yay!" Darling Son #1 loves winning, so he was in. Darling Son #2 was just along for the ride.

 They're good sports, my boys.

  

In the past I never would have entered contests because I just didn't air my workout for everyone to see. I was a workout-behind-closed-doors-with-the-shades-drawn type of person. I was afraid I'd look stupid or people would make fun of me. I was afraid, and it just wasn't my schtick to be really out there about my workouts. Or other things, for that matter. You have to remember I'm not from the generation that tells the world what I'm having for breakfast, what I just bought on Amazon or see how long my toenails have gotten? Here's a picture on Instagram!

And that brings me to the hardest part of this contest entry--Instagram. I had to figure out how to set it up and post pictures and what on earth does the hashtag do?? I still don't know, but I did it and now I'm on Instagram. #howcoolamI? (You can follow me @momsatthebarre. Or on twitter @stephaniehsiang.)

So now my blog is two months old. If the blog were a person, it would lift it's head off the blanket for a few seconds and plunk it back down again, but I've learned a lot in the past two months. Honestly, it can be hard to put yourself out there. I push 'publish' and have a little panicky moment... what if people think it's stupid? What if it's not funny? What if it's funny when it really shouldn't be? What if people see that picture of me and wonder why, with all the exercise I do, are my thighs not thinner? And so on. And so forth, etc.

But really, I'd say the blog has been worth the trouble so far. Even if no one reads it, or finds it helpful, or funny. Because I've realized there are sort of two kinds of people. There are those who go out and do things, and there are those who sit on the sidelines and whine about never winning anything. I've often been among the latter, but with my blog, I'm entering the world of the former. It's just my little blog, but I'm doing something, my own little thing that's fun and entertaining for me. And I'm entering contests, not to mention the 21st century of social media.

Ever since the frozen ducks photo shoot, Darling Son #1 periodically asks, "Did you win?" You know what? I just received some happy news! I didn't win the Physique 57 grand prize. (The winner got her whole family in the mix, including her husband who I'll admit had a very funny look on his face. I should have made DH get down with the ducks.) But they liked my picture so much they're giving me a prize, too! I'm getting a portable ballet barre! I actually already have a ballet barre, but that's ok. The point is I entered! And I even won something! From my happiest place on earth! Yay! 

What about you? Are you a sideliner? Or are you playing the game? Winning has turned me into such a deep thinker...





Ouch! Dealing with DOMS

I think I've mentioned before what a fan I am of being able to get in and out of chairs with relative ease. I mean, really, it's one of those things you take for granted, but when you can't... yikes. One of the main reasons I exercise is to avoid debilitating stiffness and pain, but I'll admit that sometimes, the workouts themselves make getting up and about more difficult.

In one sense, I kind of enjoy the slight muscle soreness I get from exercise. It almost seems to be the hallmark of a 'good' workout. You know you've worked it when you wake up with that nice spicy feeling. I find myself chasing the sensation, and I tend to live in an almost constant state of slight soreness here or there. I hardly even notice it anymore.

Back in May, however, I went a little overboard. My Darling Husband, who always knows a good thigh-quaking barre class is the way to my heart, gave me a most excellent Mother's Day present. He figured I was due for a good Mother's Day, since I had spend the previous two in area hospitals with our children. I had threatened to encase them in bubble wrap this year, so DH decided it was time to get me out of Dodge.

He packed me off to my happy place! That's right--a weekend in New York City to take classes at my beloved Physique 57. I'd been to P57 before, but a class with founder Tanya had still eluded me. With two whole days in the Big Apple, this was my chance.

Ok, I realize some of you might be saying, "No more Tanya! Oh that she had sprained her ankle in the first dance!" (Bonus points to the first person who can name that literary reference in the comments section. And please do it quickly, because I would hate for Tanya to think I wish her ill. So hurry! Fast! Go!) But really, this was a big thrill for me. I had come thisclose to a class with her over Christmas, but couldn't make it happen. This was going to be my Olympics.

The only class she was teaching that fit into my schedule was an intermediate level. I had a taken a mixed class four months prior and I did fine. I did all the advanced modifications and held my own, so I wasn't too scared of intermediate. I could handle it. Sure.

The only thing I didn't quite factor in was how relatively unfit I had become in those intervening months. We had taken two international trips--one to Taiwan with both the kids, from which we were all still recovering five weeks later. I had just gotten over a cold, but it would be fine. I was just so high on the thrill of actually getting to meet Tanya, a woman whose voice and image had filled my home nearly everyday for almost a year. I wasn't going to hold anything back. You vault on a broken ankle in the Olympics. (I wouldn't have really gone on a broken ankle, FYI. It's a metaphor... isn't it?)

Just so you know, I'm not someone who approaches famous people when I see them... and I've seen a lot of famous people. I'd tell you exactly who, but it would sound like pretentious name dropping, but let's just say, I've seen a lot.

Ok, I know you're dying to know, so I'll just tell you that very recently, I saw John Travolta at the Children's Museum. He looked like himself. Some of them don't... famous people, that is. Both Richard Gere and Arnold Schwarzenegger were shorter than I expected. But I never approach them or talk to them. Not even when I saw cute landscaper Chris from Ali's season of The Bachelorette at my local Starbucks. Anyway, listen to me, going on about famous people! The point is, no, I didn't talk to John Travolta. I just treasured it up in my heart and wrote about it on Facebook later.

Well, there was none of that restraint or demureness when I first saw Miss Tanya. She was coming out of her previous class and I just marched right up to her and gushed away about how much I loved her. I'm sure it was very embarrassing for her... maybe I should have been embarrassed, too? I don't even know, but I'll give props to Tanya, she was very gracious. This insane suburban housewife had been let loose on her. God bless her.

Then she beat me up... in a nice way. But I asked for it. Every advanced option she threw my way I had to try. I had made a pilgrimage! This was TANYA for heaven's sake! I couldn't just phone it in. I was going all out, leaving nothing on the table. We had a lovely chat after class during which she praised me as being 'so strong.' It must have been the adrenaline, but I'll take it. I like praise. Especially praise from Tanya.

So, yeah, I was on a little bit of a high from it all. We even took a picture!

I kind of wish we had taken it before class... I was a lot cuter and fluffier before my Olympic performance, but really, when I reflect on how I felt later, it's amazing to me that I was even upright at this point.

It took about 20 minutes for reality to set in. One of the really nice features of the 57th St. studio is that there aren't any stairs you need to negotiate to get in and out. It didn't really hit me how much trouble I was in until I attempted to descend the ridiculously long staircase into the underbelly of the New York subway. Oh Lord, have mercy. The jell-o legs hit me by the third step and I knew I was in for it.

The crazy thing is that I went BACK for MORE the following day. Well, of course I did! I can't be in New York for two full days and take only one class. Besides, I was all excited to take a class with my Darling Cousin, with whom I was staying. DC kept watching me hobble around her apartment and admitted she was 'a little scared' of what they were going to do to her. I hauled both of us out of bed the next morning and we headed off to the Spring Street studio. DC suggested taking the train, but I said, no, let's walk! So many steps we'll get on the Fitbit and I really need to warm up these thighs of mine. Not to mention taking the subway involves going down stairs.

Thankfully, we had only been able to get into a beginner class, but I was still in a world of hurt. Summer, the sweet (and excellent) instructor, came over to me during one of the thigh sequences to 'encourage' me. I gave her a pitiful, wincing look and found the strength to eek out, 'so sore!' She patted my sweaty shoulder and moved on.

So what causes soreness? It's important to know that soreness you experience during a workout is not the same thing that hits you later. The 'during' pain is the build up of lactic acid in your muscles. Lactic acid is produced during intense exercise when the oxygen demands of the muscle fibers increase beyond what the blood is able to deliver, and lactic acid is a byproduct of that process. It is what gives you the burning sensation in your muscles when you're pushing them hard to perform for you. The burn pain can be good--you're challenging yourself. Sharp pain is injury pain--if you feel any kind of sharp sensation, stop what you're doing immediately.
 
Lactic acid is completely flushed out of the muscles within 30 to 60 minutes after you finish exercising. Stretching can help this along, but since it's long gone by the time you experience the oh-my-I-can't-get-up-from-the-toilet feeling, it's clearly not the same thing. The latter is called delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS) and it usually creeps up on you 24-48 hours after an intense workout. I find it peaks the second day after exercise, then begins to subside.

Scientists aren't exactly sure why people experience DOMS or what they mean. In fact, researching it was wading through a morass of uncertainty. It was most unsatisfying. The theory is the pain comes from the microscopic tears in the muscle and surrounding connective tissue from challenging exercise. Pain and swelling is the muscles' response. The interesting thing is that DOMS can be a sign of having 'done something wrong,' like insufficiently warming up, but it isn't necessarily. People usually get DOMS when trying something new or push themselves beyond what they're used to even in a familiar activity. This is certainly consistent with my experience.

Usually people stop getting DOMS once their bodies become accustomed to a certain activity. One thing that was very clear from my research is that the absence of DOMS does not mean you didn't get a good workout. You can absolutely get some very useful exercise without wincing your way down the stairs the following day.

Serious DOMS, like what I experienced the WEEK after my session with Tanya (yes, it lasted a whole week), is a pretty good indicator that I did too much, but it's not the same as injury. We can talk about actual injury another time, but really, I don't get too bothered by extreme DOMS. Maybe I should, but I don't. Yes, it's unpleasant, but it goes away.

The question on most people's minds is what do you do about it? How can I avoid it or at least minimize it? Here are some tips from my years as a professional stay-at-home-mom with degrees in art history and theology. (Fries, anyone?):

1. Make sure you warm up sufficiently before starting to exercise. Insufficient warm up was definitely not the culprit for me in this case--not only had I warmed up in class, I had been walking around midtown Manhattan for about 45 minutes, plus stretching before class began. But working out on cold muscles is a very bad idea. It invites injury, so do be sure to warm up.

2. If you're just starting out exercising, or are beginning a new sport or activity, do about half as much as you think you can do the first time out. The first time I remember getting massive DOMS was when I started weight training at the age of 20. I decided I needed to 'push myself' on a set of lunges and used 7lb. dumbbells in each hand. I had to slide down the stairs on my bum for several days after. Really, body weight exercises like squats and lunges don't require additional weight when you're first starting out, and depending on the workout, I still don't weight load on a lot of them. Live and learn...

3. Try sipping on a baking soda cocktail about an hour before a tough or new workout (1-2 tablespoons of sodium bicarbonate mixed with water.) I've tried this after the soreness had already set in, but I just read that studies indicate drinking it beforehand can help minimize soreness. The taste is vile. Be forewarned.

4. Eat a combination of complex carbohydrates and protein as soon as you can after an intense strength workout. This is why a lot of weight training gurus recommend protein shakes. Protein in liquid form is quickly absorbed into your bloodstream and can help speed up the recovery process, hopefully relieving any DOMS you might experience.

Employing some or all of these techniques will likely prevent or lessen crippling DOMS, but what if you already have them?

1. KEEP MOVING. You knew I was going to say that. Really, sitting around because you are so sore is pretty much the worst thing you can do. I'm not saying don't have a rest, but you'll notice you're markedly stiffer and more sore after a long sit. The best thing you can do is keep moving around and stretching your muscles.

2. Have a massage. This helps and oh, it is so nice. DC and I went for a massage after the Olympics and wow, it was nice. I was still sore, but it was nice.

3. Try foam rolling. I'll write more on foam rolling when I get into workout recovery (that one's still in the hopper.) Foam rolling will hurt. But then, everything hurts you at this point, so you might as well do something productive.

4. Baths--ok, some people have suggested ice baths to me to reduce the muscular swelling. I know Olympic athletes have done this and I can relate to them now, but really... it sounds like hell on earth, so I've never tried it. I know I probably should, but oh... it sounds so unpleasant... Others have suggested warm Epsom salt baths. I've tried that. It's nice. I don't know if it really helped, but who doesn't like a warm bath? Apart from my five-year-old?

Other than that, it just takes all the things you'd expect--time, sleep, good food. You can also try ibuprofen to reduce the swelling. The pain will go away... eventually.

I suppose I can appreciate that delayed onset muscle soreness is not the guaranteed indicator of a good workout, but I can't quite wrap my mind around that idea that a nice, spicy feeling the day after doesn't mean something good. Surely it means I've challenged my muscles, and that's good, right? I guess it's just important not to assume your workout was useless without it.

Despite the soreness, I don't regret giving it my all at the Olympics, and when I go back, I'll do it again. You can bet I'll be trying another intermediate or even advanced class at Physique 57 in the future. Next time I'll just toss some Arm and Hammer in my water bottle before I do.